So The Corpulent Brony recently introduced me to a Canadian friend from
Windsor Toronto Alberta
Vancouver who was coming to the States for a meet up and wanted to bring Canadian goodies to whoever was interested. Uh, me! Josh kinda sprung the "well, what do you want TELL ME NOW" stuff and I really wasn't ready with a good answer immediately. That's like a super serious question that can't be approached lightly. You gotta really think
about your Canada swag.
When Josh finally passed along the goodies, I was so excited to see that they were from Dollarama in the sense that it was a Canuckistan chain that I recognized although the actual store didn't live up to the hype of its name. It's one of those dollar stores where stuff is usually more than a dollar. This could easily turn into a post describing the thrills and chills of my past adventures in Canadian dollar stores and all the wonderful leftover Canada Day stuff that can be found there in the later weeks of July so I should probably quit while I'm ahead.
So I ended up with a really cool pen, two magnets, and of course a keychain for my collection! Weirdly while I have tons of keychains just like that one with the carabiner and the strap and some are even red, none of them say Canada on it so that's pretty exciting right there. I definitely appreciate these new acquisitions because can you believe that up until I received this I had no Canada magnets or pens (just pencils) in the house? Thank Celestia that problem has been solved!
I didn't really have a chance to talk to Aphinity very much other than to be all OMG CANADA so he doesn't even know exactly why I am so into Canada
. I really couldn't care much less about healthcare, politics, or all the reasons why Yanks are typically into the place these days and I definitely have no interest in moving there even if such a thing were possible. Is it time for another PSA? My fellow Americans, you most like will not ever be allowed to move there so like just stop being drooling buffoons about the whole thing. You guys embarrass me. Ignorance ain't cute. Stop.
Is this post starting to come off like a Not Like Other Yanks post? Oh well :)
Anyway, until I visited Canada for the first time in my mid 20s, I literally never thought about the place at all. Other than the fact that Florida fills up with Canadians in the winter, it just wasn't on my radar and I didn't have any of the strong negative feelings that folks in the border states sometimes do. Plus it doesn't help for the purposes of clarity that I have multiple answers for why I have become mildly obsessed with the place and the answers vary according to whether I am speaking with another North American or someone from elsewhere or even just how I am feeling at the time when I am asked. So I guess I'll just make a list:Top Ten Reasons to Love Canada(no particular order)
1. Maple leaves on everything (the reason why I am constantly decorating the house in Canada swag. I just really like nature and trees and stuff) as a decorative motif. So attractive
2. Maple flavored everything is so much easier to find and it is one of my favorite flavors
3. Syrup stockpile so they won't be caught out during the apocalypse. Ok yeah, it is more for financial reasons but come on. I assure you Florida has no citrus reserves even though for storage purposes that's
maples and oranges.
4. Poutine. I could have taken or left Ontario but Quebec? That was the beginning of my "Canadia Mania" And no, you cannot get good poutine down here. Do not believe menus and what you are told. Due to variances in cheese law (I kinda wanna be a cheese attorney now. It's like bird law but yummy) you can't get the right kind of curds here. IT MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE
5. Quebec looks just like Disney's Canada in EPCOT so I had already been brainwashed with syrup THOROUGHLY to think of it as home. I may have said wonderingly, "Quebec looks just like the Canada we have at home, Josh!" many times where I could be overheard by locals. Oh well.
6. Kinder Eggs that don't need to be smuggled. Never mind that most people don't understand the true reasons for the law banning them. Not getting into that again here as I have in so many other of my posts. Anyway, I've got a 20-30% rate of being busted by my own country's customs. Although it seems like many countries are going to Kinder Joy only and they don't seem to notice or care that they are losing such a delicious heritage. But I am one person who can only do so much.
7. Kinder Egg bootleg candies still seem to be going strong and are honestly better than the original in some ways. These are what I truly crave and miss.
8. Metric system. My fellow Americans, the imperial system is shameful and you are shameful. Stop.
9. Newfoundland is what I expected Alaska to look like and was disappointed in the 49th state. Plus Norway or Newfoundland? is a fun game to play with both Canadians and Norwegians. Spoiler alert, Norwegians usually beat Canadians handily at this game and I get why but they never expect my rogue American self to give them a run for their money.
10. Parallel universe/ twilight zone feeling. You won't find that in Africa, Asia, or any of the other places I have been. If you know, you know.
Bonus: Moose patterned motifs are so easy to find on décor as well. A native Floridian has got to get tired of flamingoes and palm trees sometime :)
It wouldn't be a good Canada post if I didn't share the collage I made when I found out there was a Tim Horton's by the hotel where all the bronies were staying. I made Josh take me so I could moose down doughnuts
. We didn't get Timbits this time but it was still a pleasant experience. Josh really likes the orange Timbits despite me being like, "We live in Florida. We have citrus flavored doughnuts at home!"
There IS a Timmy's in Tampa but that would require going to Tampa. Ugh. Plus Ohio and Ontario both start and end with the same letter so clearly it makes more sense to go up there. Weirdly when I am in Canada I almost never go to Timmy's because I have so many other places I need to go for eating purposes. I still like seeing them though. And it is really fun to see them in other countries. I got so amped by the one I saw in the Dubai the taxi driver thought I was Canadian myself.
And I will never forget being on the night ferry to Newfoundland when the news came out that Floridian company Burger King bought Tim Horton's. This was it. You can't travel as much as I do without running into rioting in the streets and
Montreal cocktails eventually. I soberly turned to Josh, as he is Canadian himself.
"Will there be civil unrest? Are we in danger? We can't rely on Brian Mulroney
to save us this time..."
/dəˈpôrt/expel (a foreigner) from a country, typically on the grounds of illegal status or for having committed a crime.
Pretty sure the loss of Timmy's is a hate crime like no other. Like have we wronged them one too many times? Will they finally rise up and take their vengeance?!
He said no and other than a few angry geezers, the Canadian version of The Troubles passed without incident at least for me. But like Carrie Bradshaw, I can't help but wonder... are they just biding their time? Is the reverse invasion coming? Who is actually
going to get raked?
I guess we'll all have to stay tuned. Same Canadian time, same Canadian station! And major thanks to Phin for the cool Canadian loot!